An update

 I don’t have much good news to share, I’m afraid.  My hands have gotten worse and so far  none of the options I have chosen have helped to improve them. I’ve gotten so bad that I now have trouble with many simple tasks. Typing is very difficult. However, I’ve recently been able to get around that by using dictation software. I am actually dictating this whole thing and it seems to be working okay.

However, there is now the problem of my game. With the update from Supernatural to Seasons, EA has now made it next to impossible for Macs to run The Sims. So now I’m practically at square one.  But, some people have expressed an interest in me just continuing the story and forgetting the use of pictures if they are impossible for me to get. It just comes down to how much people are still interested in the story and my writing. At this point, I don’t know what to think or do. If people are still interested I will continue the story as best I can but without full functionality it may be different from how it was.

If you’d like to let me know or if you have a strong opinion than you can leave a comment or message me on Facebook, email me… or whatever.  I’ve just been thinking a lot about this story and writing and now that I am able to do some form of it with this software It might be possible to continue. To me, the story was more about the words than the pictures. Just let me know if it will be a huge problem to any of you if I do this, or if it’s just a dumb idea.

thanks,

Toast.

Update

Basically just a quick update to let everyone know that I’m not doing well. My hands are worse than ever. As some of you know my last grip test registered at 6 pounds in my left hand and right is at 5. I went back to the Doctor last Wednesday and he gave me a cortisone shot in my left hand. It was probably the third most painful thing I’ve ever gone through (this is from a girl who pierced her own ears – 5 times – and bellybutton and who also has a tattoo and used to gauge her ears and was a self-harmer for years. In other words, ouch.)

It caused what is known apparently as a cortisone spike – something i didn’t learn about until I got on the internet, thank you Doctor for adequately preparing me – which causes your pain level to double because the cortisone crystallizes under the skin. Also, I got a cortisone shot right in the middle of all the meningitis outbreaks which if you didn’t hear is coming from cortisone that they’re using in orthopedic clinics. Awesome. So no I don’t have meningitis but its certainly been stressing me out. The shot can take up to 14 days to work. If it doesn’t then the only other western medicine solution is surgery. Which according to Doctors is a permanent fix…according to those who’ve had it done it’s putting a band-aid on a broken arm. So, awesome.

My pain levels have been so high lately I haven’t been able to function. I confessed to my boss that I was having these problems, she was actually supportive of me.

Unfortunately on Thursday I came to the realization that I could no longer physically perform my job, so I had no choice but to quit. As of Friday morning, I am now once again in the ranks of the unemployed. I kind of want to go stick my head in the oven now. I’m extremely depressed. I don’t really have any desire to do anything. It’s taken me almost two days to even be able to write this. So yeah. There you go. I still feel like shit and now my life is going down the tubes.

Go me.

Generation 10 – “Corruption”

Warning: Mention of drugs and hookers. Corrupt cops and talk of killing people.

“What do you mean by tribute?” Brandt asked his new partner.

The older man smirked and chuckled, “my, you’re an eager one. Don’t worry, you’ll find out what I mean soon enough.”

Brandt felt powerless as the car made its way through the city. As they passed different landmarks, Clark pointed out their significance to the rookie cop.

“There’s the best place to bust hookers,” he said, pointing to an alley behind a Chinese restaurant, “many of them are willing to give some pro bono services to avoid another charge. Some of them ain’t bad looking, too.”
Clark guffawed and Brandt felt as if his voice had been stolen from him. He felt cold, a chill traveling down his spine. This wasn’t anything like how he had ever imagined his first day at work. Mina’s words echoed in Brandt’s ear. Yet, had he refused to go out into the city he would have most likely lost his job. He felt powerless and pinned down. All he could do was go along for the ride.

“That’s where Broke Bob sells his goods. He’ll usually give away product samples if you threaten to bust him.”

Brandt didn’t answer him. Every word out of his partner’s mouth was enough to drive one more sliver of worry into his heart. He shut his eyes and tried to think about something else. He imagined his Momo and his Mom. He thought about his brothers and his sister. He wanted them to be so proud of him. What more could Brandt want than to walk in the footsteps of his heroic mother? Clark’s voice became a low buzz in Brandt’s ears. He shifted in the car seat. He suddenly became aware of the heavy weight of the gun against his hip. He felt his pulse quicken as he glanced over at Clark. Technically the other officer hadn’t done anything wrong, though he had certainly talked a big game. Exhaling slowly, Brandt slid his hand from his knee up to his thigh and towards his sidearm. He cleared his throat as he deftly unsnapped his holster. He stopped and waited to see if the older officer reacted. The car came to a sudden halt, startling Brandt.

“Look, we’re here.”

Brandt looked out his window. They were parked in front of a warehouse. The outside looked grimy and uninviting. The security cameras above the entrance were sure signs that this was certainly not going to be a meeting with the mayor.

“Come on, look alive.”

Numbly, Brand reached for the handle on the door. He pulled it and forced himself to climb out. He felt as if he had a thousand pounds of weight weighing down his body as he trudged forward. Clark led him inside the building, past a security guard and into a backroom of the warehouse. His surroundings were dark and dimly lit. It felt like he was trapped in some sort of nightmare. He had never felt so close to his own mortality in his life. Brandt’s holster was still unsnapped and he tentatively brushed his hand against the smooth leather. The older man knocked on the door to an office. The door opened from the inside and Clark stepped forward first. Brandt followed behind him, silently.

“Officer Clark!” a man called.

Brandt peeked out from behind Clark to see a large, older man sitting behind a fancy desk and chewing on a cigar. He had several suit-clad men standing around him. Brandt could see that they were all heavily armed. He definitely wasn’t at the Mayor’s office.

“Mr. White,” Clark replied, “I’d like you to meet the newest officer on the force, Mason.”

“Mason, Mason…how do I know that name?”

Clark stepped away, revealing Brandt to the older man.

“My grandfather was-”

“Vincent Valentine Mason!” the large man declared, pointing his cigar at Brandt.

“My great-grandfather,” Brandt answered.

“Well, that certainly makes things interesting,” the cigar-smoking man turned to Clark, “Valentine was the king of crime for a spell. Then his own wife got him busted. Last I heard he was dying in prison. Went on some kind of hunger strike.”

Brandt sighed and recapped the same story he had been telling since he was old enough to know who his great-grandfather had been: “My great-grandfather lived for a few more years after we were told that he was dying. He was a tough man. He hadn’t stopped eating completely, but he had lost his appetite. We later found out it was cancer. By that point, his advanced age made treatment more dangerous than letting the illness run its course. He eventually succumbed to it.”

“Such a shame that he went to prison,” the cigar man said, shaking his head, “ah well, so you’re the new recruit. With a legacy like yours, I shall be glad to have you in my pocket.”

“I don’t understand,” Brandt whispered, not daring for his voice to get any louder.

“Of course, you don’t know who I am. How rude of me! My name is Victor,” he raised his cigar in salute to Brandt, “I like to keep several cops in my pocket. I find it makes business a little easier to conduct that way. I can make you rich, you know. If you play along, scratch my back, you’ll find promotions practically thrown at your feet. All you have to do is agree to look the other way at times and of course, there may be a few…odd jobs I’ll require.”

Fists clenched at his sides, Brandt’s heart hammered in his chest. His eyes darted from the cigar smoker to each bodyguard behind him.

“If I refuse?”

Victor laughed heartily, “then I’ll have to kill you.”

Brandt’s stomach lurched, but he refused to let it show on his face. His palms sweat, his knees felt that at any moment they would give out.

“Then I suppose I don’t have a choice.”

“Fantastic,” Victor exclaimed, “I look forward to working with you, perhaps some of that criminal genius your grandfather held will rub off on you.”

Brandt shook hands with Victor and felt hated himself for it. He felt sick, like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over him. He wanted to empty his clip into Victor’s face, reload and shoot Clark. He became so absorbed into his thoughts that the rest of his visit with the crime lord passed in a blur. He felt numb and dazed as he was ushered out of the building and into the police cruiser.

Clark drove him back to the station where they met with Elmira’s fellow officers. They all congratulated him on ‘joining the club’. Brandt wondered just how deep the corruption in this town went. When he finally managed to break away from the group, he went outside the station and sat down on a nearby bench. He felt his body begin to shake. Without any real warning, Brandt felt his stomach convulse. He turned to the side and felt his body fall off of the bench and on to the ground below. He dug his fingers into the grass as his stomach emptied its contents violently on the ground.

“That bad, huh?”

He groaned as he looked over his shoulder. Mina had taken a seat on the bench.

“A little warning would have been nice,” he grumbled as he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

“I did warn you. I said explicitly to not go into the city with him!”

“Like i had a choice!”

Mina sighed as she pulled her purse from off her arm. She dug through it for a moment before producing a travel pack of Kleenex and a small bottle of water. With a deft flick of her wrist she had the bottle opened. She handed Brandt two clean tissues before pulling out two more and wetting them.

“Here, face me.”

Brandt obeyed and started as she lifted the wet Kleenex to his face and gently cleaned him up.

“Thanks,” he said softly.

“Swish the water around and use the dry ones to clean off.”

Brandt did as he was told and handed the water back to her. She waved him off and instead put the pack of tissues back in her purse.

“Most people would run at the sight of puke.”

She smirked, “I’m a mother, I’ve cleaned up worse.”

“Oh,” Brandt said, trying not to sound disappointed. He cleared his throat, “so…you’re not Mina Jones then?”

She smiled, “oh no, I am Mina Jones. I went back to my maiden name after my divorce. My daughter still has her father’s name though, her name is Briana.”

She paused for a moment before turning to face him more directly on the bench.

“Officer Mason-”

“You can call me Brandt,” he interrupted.

“Okay, Brandt. D-did you agree to be in Victor’s pocket?”

“I didn’t have a choice,” he dropped his voice to a whisper, “I don’t want to be, but they said they’d kill me.”

Mina nodded, “if you really don’t want to be one of his cronies…and you really want to make a difference in this city, then I know how. There’s a man in Internal Affairs who can help. His name is Rodriguez. Call him, go see him…whatever. Please.”

She stood quickly and walked away from him. She got a few feet away before she turned around and looked at him. Her face was unreadable and Brandt felt his cheeks flush with warmth. Her gaze felt intense, scrutinizing. Almost as if he was under a magnifying glass. She turned suddenly and jogged away. Leaving Brandt alone with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

* * *

In the end, there was really no question of what Brandt was going to do. He went back inside and grabbed a department directory and found out where IA was located in the city. He slipped away, out of the precinct and didn’t stop running until he got to his car. He roared the engine to life and took off like a bat out of hell. He made what he assumed as a record time to Internal Affairs’ building. Before he got out of the car he looked around. It occurred to him that Mina could be in on the whole thing. What if she was one of Victor’s cronies out to get him killed.

Then, he remembered her soft touch and caring nature: the way she had cared for him, wiped his face after he was sick and told him about her daughter. This was not a woman who was part of a crime syndicate. This was a gentle, sweet woman. She was like him, she just wanted a better world.

Brandt bounded out of his cruiser and into the building. He ran up the stairs and into the lobby. He walked slowly, almost stealthily along a long hallway of doors until he found the one marked ‘Rodriguez’. He knocked and waited.

“Come in,” came the muffled reply.

Brandt opened the door, stepped inside and shut it behind him. Sitting at a desk was a middle-aged, but still handsome man. He looked stressed, his ashtrays stuffed with cigarette butts was a testament to that.

“Help you?” he asked, eying Brandt warily.

“My name is Officer Brandt Mason, I would like to report the corruption of police officials.”

**************

LOOK GUISE. IT’S A CHAPTER!!! omgomgomg! *happy seal clapping*

I’m very excited for this. I apologize if its a shitty chapter BUT ITS A CHAPTER. THIS DOESN’T HAPPEN OFTEN. XD

As a side note, this took an insane amount of time to record. For some reason the line about hookers tripped me up like 10 times. I should release a gag reel or something. XD

Update on Toast

first and foremost – please forgive the amount of mistakes in this post. i’ll explain in a sec.

also if you’re a facebook friend this is more of the same stuff you’ve already seena zillion times.
i noticed i’m getting a sudden rash of people concerned about me, and wanting me to update. i’m not mad or u[pset about that of course but i feel it warrants an explanation. ive been having problems with my hands for a while now. if you follow me on facebook, you may have seen me talking about my hands and work. well, ive been having trouble with numbness, weakness, tingling, snaps and cracks, etc. went to the doctor and i was diagnosed with severe carpal tunnel. my doc thinks that i will probably need surgery to fix it, but of course wants to try all the other stuff first. Ive been given wrist braces which is why i am having a terirble time typing right now. i have to have an emg test on the 28th to see just how bad my condition is. i’ve also been ordered to have occupational therapy. i’ll need to do cortisone shots after  my emg and i’m already on steroids and nsaids. it’s gotten so bad i can’t even hold a book up without pain. at work i dropped 20 eggs on the floor because my hand went limp.

so at this point the story is in my head. in theory i could just say the story and not have the written chapters and maybe not as many pictures. i can and am willing to do that if thats what you want. but i wouldn’t expect any typing of qualiry to happen for a little while longer.

i’m sorry about this guys. its killing me. i can’t write, crochet, read, cook or even bake for fun. i feel like such a failure to all of you. i hope you guys can forgive me.

toast

for your viewing pleasure, a picture of the very sad toast in her very sad wrist braces :C

Let it Be’s Second Anniversary

Oh lord, I had planned on being done with this blog by now, but it seems as though I will be gracing all of you with my presence a bit longer. Before I answer the questions sent to me, I just want to give everyone a quick thank you! You guys have been so lovely and patient with me through all of the ups and downs of the past two years. i can honestly say that just about everything in my life has changed since I started this blog. It’s pretty crazy to think back and remember where I was two years ago.

When I started this blog I was 23 years old and on the fast track to nowhere. I had just finished culinary school and had only just started my first post-school job. Now I’m 24, turning 25 this November. I’m in an entirely new job, which I love sometimes and hate with the burning fire of a thousand suns other times. Ha. I’ve lost friends, but gained new ones. It’s been a crazy ride, to say the least.

I got some really great questions and as I’m an over-sharer I’m a bit long winded, so apologies. I also got some rather personal questions, I’ll answer delicately. I’ll be answering them in the order in which they were received.

*********************

Emy asks:

1) What inspired you to start Let It Be, and how did you decide on James for your founder?

2) What is your favourite generation? And who has been your favourite character throughout the legacy so far? YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE I DEMAND IT. 🙂

1. Let it Be began, actually, with a case of food poisoning. I had gone out to eat at a Mexican restaurant and due to cross contamination I wound up with a really bad case of campylobacter. I was completely drained. I felt terrible, I was so exhausted and drained from the illness that I could hardly even hold my own head up (and that’s no exaggeration). I didn’t have much I could do so I wound up on my computer and I had been playing the Sims 3 and I could remember that people used to write stories with the other games and I thought well, why not check it out for this game? I had never been able to play a legacy in Sims 2. I always got bored and way too sad when my sim died. When I found DITFT, I just decided, on a whim, to do it. I had written little stories for Sims 1 in the past but I was like…12. So they were just terrible. So I just…went for it.

As for why James was chosen….I wanted a person who was going to represent sort of the…old fashioned rural values that people think of when they think of their Grandparents. I also wanted someone who would have an old fashioned name, since this was the very beginning. I also wanted a strawberry blonde – as I was strawberry blonde when I first started this blog so, it all just fell into place. I really didn’t spend much time actually make James’ sim. His face and all, just kinda went with what looked good to me. Haha. James’ personality came in as I was writing him, though to this day I still consider Gen 1 to be my weakest generation. There was so much more complexity in my head involving James but at the time I didn’t…feel comfortable, really putting it all in there. As weird as that sounds. XD

2. Now…is that my favorite one to work on…or my favorite because of the craze it drove you guys into? XD I think I probably would have to choose Charlie’s Gen for both. That is definitely the Gen I think I’m most proud of. I feel like that was where I was really on top of my game and churning out a story. Plus I feel rather accomplished over the downward spiral I was able to put her into. XD

****************

Hrootbeer asked:

How much staging and set up do you do for your chapters?  Which chapter/generation required the most work in this regard (not counting the current, because I know that doing the voice acting is more work than just writing and shooting pictures)

In the beginning I did no staging whatsoever. I wrote around what James did. It wasn’t until Gen 3 that I started actually putting things together. Now, I stage everything. There’s not a single shot in LIB today that isn’t set up. Most of the time I build my own sets and take a hundred shots to find one. XD

I think the gen that was the most obnoxious in the amount of work I had to do was actually Kennedy and Madison’s because it was literally three different game files and staging in Bridgeport is a nightmare. I do not recommend it to anyone, ever. The chapter in that that required the most work was the chapter in which Marcus is killed. It was a lot of set building and posing and changing outfits and I had planned the finale of Marcus dying in the sun – not realizing that in the Sims 3, vampires don’t actually die because of the sun. EA I am disappoint. The over all generation though that I think I had to do the most stuff for was probably Nines Generation because I had to build all of the political offices, the campaign offices and the jail in addition to the regular staging – and it required a lot of extras and side characters.

***********

Sydney511 asked:

Hurray an update

I dont really have any Q&A except that Im wondering when the crossing bridges story will continue? Styx said its your turn to update 🙂

To those who dont know about it its really really good. http://crossingbridgesstory.wordpress.com/

Thank you for the CB plug, Sydney. The best answer I can give you is that it will continue when I get the chapter written. At the moment, due to all of the things going on in my personal life I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus from writing. I’m trying to focus on my health and well being. 🙂

******************

Emy asked (again 😉 ):

Ooo, oo! I thought of another question.

Do you have any writers you really admire and/or who really inspire you? Sims writers or otherwise. 🙂

AND ANOTHER.

What is your favourite book?

I have a lot of writers that I admire. Non Sims writers, I have to say I admire people like George R.R. Martin for writing characters that caused me to be so emotionally invested in that I actually began to shake uncontrollably and felt like a close relative and friend of mine had died. One of my favorite writers is Hugh Howey. He started off writing a short story called Wool that he put on amazon. It became so successful that he’s now written an entire series following that short story. On top of that, he’s a really nice guy. I admire people like that.

For Sims writers, I’m hesitant to name specific names because I don’t want anyone to be upset that I didn’t mention them. However, I will say that I admire most those writers whose work isn’t as well known as others. Those people who don’t post their face rolling across the keyboard and instantly get 600 comments. Those people who keep on chugging away, telling their story. I will also say that just because someone is super well known and gets all kinds of dedications, spotlights, comments, etc that does not mean that their work is of quality. I also really admire writers that, like me, do all of their own work. I rarely use non-original sims and I build all of my own sets and decorate them all. I design every sim’s look, and I know how much work goes into it all. So the people who tough it out, I admire.

My favorite book? Goodness, that’s like asking a mother to pick her favorite child. 😛 Haha, I have a few favorites. In terms of a book that I can read over and over and over again: The Other Boleyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory. I also have a secret love for Meg Cabot books, those are my fluffy favorites. Sense and Sensibility is another favorite along with Pride and Prejudice. I also loved, loved Game of Thrones and I’m especially partial to Shel Silverstein poetry. My hands down favorite book when I was a teenager was Speak. I’m also very strange and I actually like reading Shakespeare. This has offended a lot of people. My favorites are Macbeth, A Midsummer Night’s Dream and Much Ado About Nothing. I actually got to play Lady Macbeth once which was awesome. Oh yes, and one of my favorites is Agatha Christie’s Ten Little Indians.

************

catcrunchies asked:

Okay, questions for the Toasty…
1) I know about one sim who was inspired by a real life person in the Masons. Are there any other character who are based on people you know irl and through the net? Does your opinion of the person affect how the character behaves and lives out their life?
2) If you were to collab with any other sims writer, who would you pick and why? (not including Styxlady because you guys already did it with Vince and Seeley :D)
3) Are there any books that influence your writing?
4) Which Mason would you most like to spend a weekend with and why?

1. Haha absolutely and this will come up in a later question as well but Scarlett and River are very much based on myself and some experiences in my life. Thomas’ drive and desire to make money and have serious ambitions was heavily inspired by my father. My father grew up dirt poor and he left home at 14 to go to boarding school (his choice) because his local high school was not accredited, meaning that he when he graduated from high school his diploma would be worth nothing. So he actually worked to put himself in boarding school, when he got out he went to Virginia Tech, and of course, worked to put himself through that. He decided when he was young that he was never going to have to go without something and he would never tell his children that he couldn’t afford something that they needed. So he worked and worked and worked and worked when I was a child and before I was born to give me and my brother the best life that he could possibly have given us. He taught me the value of a honest days work and he taught me that the right road is always the hard road…but it is the right one. There’s also a lot of him in James, in that regard. My father has always been this sort of, mighty figure in my world. Someone who is always standing tall and proud.

The relationship between Parker and River was heavily inspired by my mother and my Aunt. Who have a lot of unresolved issues between them and to some extent the relationship between Kennedy and Madison. Especially on Kennedy’s side as my mother is the older sister.

As I said before River was inspired from myself, but also so was Parker, her sister. Parker is who I wish I was, haha. I don’t ever like to borrow 100% from one person. I take little bits of people I like or don’t like and throw them into characters. There are two exceptions to that rule: Mikey Page and Marcus. Both of them are actually based rather heavily off of an ex-boyfriend of mine. In the personality department, anyway. Especially Mikey. The boy that he was based off of was very controlling and when I finally stood up to him he crumpled into tears, much like Mikey did.

2.  I would be open to collabing with most anyone, really. Though it makes it easier when its an author whose work is in a similar voice to yours. If anyone were to approach me about it, I would consider it if it was a viable idea. Though for some weird reason people are very afraid of approaching me about things like that.

3. Oh definitely. Books and music are very important in my writing. Both can send me little sparks of ideas. Of course the most obvious influence that I used was in River’s generation where I decided that much like Bridget Jones’ Diary is a retelling of Pride and Prejudice that I would retell a classic novel with River’s generation. In that case the book chosen was Middlemarch by George Eliot. River is of course Dorthea while Conrad is Casaubon and Will is Wil Ladislaw. In less subtle ways though, Sense and Sensibility was also an influence regarding the relationship between River and Parker. With Parker actually acting as Elinor and being protective of River or who in this case was Marianne. I’ve also had a few movies as inspiration. I accidentally stole a line from Tangled with Kennedy. Haha. I know there are more but at the moment those are the only specifics I can think of.

4. Ooh that one is interesting. I think River and I would probably get along best because we’d both just chill. I think it would be really fun to hang around with Madison and Savannah though. Ooh or Parker…. I think the shorter list would be who I wouldn’t want to hang around with. I would have to say Catherine for obvious reasons and Hannah. Though she wasn’t REALLY a Mason. Or Natalie. I wound up hating her at the end.

Great questions!

**********

Anonymous asked:

I’ve seen you mention that Scarlett’s experience with Mikey was the same as an experience you had…what is the correlation between the two?

Ahh, well this question I will have to answer with some adult content, so SCROLL ON BY if you’re the offended type.

Ahem, well , how to put this… Scarlett and I both had a similar first sexual experience, except that she had a choice and I didn’t. The guy who did this to me, was very similar to Mikey in terms of being cold, creepy and unbalanced. However we both had the same reaction to it where we hid it from everyone and let it fester inside of us until we hit rock bottom.

I could go into my whole rock bottom thing, but that’s another story for another time.

**********

Commonthistle asked:

I have a couple of questions:  

How far ahead do you tend to plan your story?
And…Do you let gameplay influence the story at all?  How about reader comments?
Also, can I be in the Masons?  😀  Haha, just kidding.

(okay, really I’m not kidding at all and would probably scream and faint like a total fangirl if you did put me in, lol)

It depends on the generation. By Generation three, I had already planned up to Generation 7. Gen 8 was planned last minute and Gen 9 was changed halfway through. Gen 10 was planned during Gen 9. Currently I have the final Generation planned, a faint idea for the culinary gen, the names planned for the medical gen and that’s about it. Haha. The last gen has been planned for a while now.

I no longer let gameplay influence me because I no longer actually play the Mason file. I only stage now. I used to let the gameplay influence me. As far as reader comments I have only once let it influence me and I can’t remember exactly where it was because a reader pointed out a gaping plot hole I had going. Well, it would have been a plot hole had I continued but thanks to the sharp eyed reader I patched it right up. XD

Hmmm, maybe. 😉 You guys have given me an interesting idea. 😉

***************

Anonymous asked:

Mason’s question: What ever happened to Katherine Mason, really? It seemed really random that she just left and didn’t seem to flow with the rest of the story.

Well, the thing with Catherine is that she was the simself of my former best friend. During Nine’s Generation, the real Catherine betrayed my trust and tried to blackmail me. I will never know for sure what exactly was going on in her head when she turned into a psycho hose beast except that I’m pretty sure the trauma of her boyfriend dumping her made her go irrevocably insane. At the time I was set to go to Oregon, something I had been planning since November 2010 (this was January 2011 and all of this happened while my Dad was being treated for his fourth cancer diagnosis and she called me up to do all this crap the day before his birthday). When I told her of the trip, she was in Florida with her boyfriend and to be blunt she couldn’t have given a rat’s ass if I was moving to Uganda. Her boyfriend dumped her the following January, after she had been telling me for months months that he was going to propose to her. I had my doubts, but as I’m a good friend I kept my mouth shut. She was happy, that’s what mattered to me. I thought that the guy was irresponsible with money and lacked a good moral fiber in accepting the consequences for his decisions. I said nothing about this, again…she’s an adult who can make her own decisions.

The boyfriend dumped her and like a good friend I went over to her house with liquor and cheesecake. I should have known something was up because when I wen to her house her mother and I actually bonded. Keep in mind I have known these people since I was a baby. i mean literally, a baby. I have never felt very comfortable with her mother. Ever since she found out that I am learning disabled she has treated me like I’m mentally handicapped. It’s also no secret that I have had struggled with my weight and body image in the past and this woman would go so far as to say to her daughter in front of the entire family when we were going out to “make sure that Rebecca doesn’t go off her diet”. This woman is very strict and a giant busybody. She always has her nose in everyone’s business, but you know…24 years of that, you get used to it. Her mother already made it clear to me that she thought my trip was a massive waste of money. But this woman is so frugal it’s not even funny. Except of course when it comes to things she wants. Like vacations with her husband to other countries like South Africa where they stayed with someone they met on a forum. Let me just…clarify that some more. They went to another country…on another continent and stayed in a city known for not being the safest with people that they met on a forum. However, because I was going to meet with someone who I had not only been around in the writing community for several months I had been playing world of warcraft with her, had her phone number and her home address and was being helped to plan this trip by a man who was a family friend whom I had a searched public records for….. Suddenly I was in mortal danger. So my best friend proceeded to tell her mother all of my secrets, several things that were told in strict confidence about mistakes I made in my past that I’m not proud of. Her mother, being the absolute annoying busy body that she is decides that it’s her job to parent me like I’m 10 years old again and the two of them proceed to blackmail me into telling my parents everything. Now, remember at this point in time I am 23 years old. I admit to making mistakes in my life, but every mistake I have made I made while I was a legal adult. Therefore I consider it my business. I don’t frankly give a crap if people disagree with that.

Thankfully for me, my mother agreed with me on that front and didn’t even want to hear any of my secrets. She said, you’re an adult and its your life…not mine. None of the mistakes in my life have had lasting consequences…unlike my best friend actually – but look, here I am still NOT spilling her secrets. Anyway, her mother called our house to make sure i had spilled the beans or else she was going to tattle on me. My mother gave her an earful. Keep in mind this was exactly one week after I had gone over to this girl’s house to comfort her. She called me up one night just to drop this crap on me. I was so worried about my Dad that I asked Catherine if we could please just do this another time because I really just needed a friend. I needed someone who could just be there for me. She told me no, and that she was doing this because she loved me. Well, people who smack around their spouses and kids claim to love them too…does that make it right? No, it doesn’t. When I hung up the phone with Catherine, only to be called by her mother twenty minutes later, I knew that it was the end of our friendship.

So, that is the TRUTH behind why Catherine was shoved out of the story. I really could not STAND looking at her simself anymore. That’s anotherr eason why I could never really play Lincoln. He looks too much like her. It was just too painful for me. As for the character, in my mind she did just what the real Catherine did. She went bat shit insane and hurt the people she claimed to love the most then vanished off the face of the Earth only to join an organization which will allow for her to never have to make an adult decision in her life. Oh and marry a guy who looks eerily like her exboyfriend and has the same name minus 1 letter.

This is way more information than you can ever want, I’m sure. But there you go! 😀

**************

Anonymous asked:

Did you make Madison gay just to be controversial or cool?

That’s an excellent question and one that I’m surprised I wasn’t asked earlier. The truth is: no, absolutely not. I would never in a million years make a character a certain way to create a buzz. In my head from the day she was born, Madison was a lesbian. And in my head, she was never one of those people who just KNEW immediately. She was the sort of girl who would struggle with her identity and ultimately realize who she was. Which I think is normal for people in general, we all have aspects of ourselves that we deny or try to ignore. But no, Maddy was always a lesbian. I can’t imagine her straight, at all. It’d be like…a straight Lafayette or…I can’t think of a good example. Haha.

****************

Orangeplumbob asked:
For Charlie: I am enraged by you! Fuming pissed off OPB is not a good thing! Not only did you do what you did to sweet little puppy-eyed 😉 Vincent, but you almost killed my game! Do you have no shame!?!

This is for Vincent: How does it feel to be bested by the greatest Moss ever? Seriously how could you think you could outsmart Mr Kick-Ass himself, Seeley Moss?

This is for President Mason: Mr. President, what was your greatest accomplishment in your life? Oh and your super hot!

This is for Madison: I LOVE YOU! That is all.
Charlie:What game? I don’t understand what you mean. After all the people my son killed….

For Vincent’s question I felt the need to answer this one myself instead of from Vincent’s perspective. You have to understand that Vincent was a very damaged man. He wasn’t the sort of person who was just running around being randomly evil. He was self-destructing due to his mother’s treatment of him since he first was on his own. It was always my plan for Vincent to be caught because it suited his character. I think truly that if Vince wanted to kill Seeley…Seeley would be killed.

Nines: In my entire life, I believe that my greatest accomplishment is in raising four beautiful, well balanced adults and having several wonderful grandchildren. Personally, I believe the fact that I was able to contribute to making their world a bit brighter is the thing I am most proud of.

**************

Anonymous asked:

Can you give us some hints about what’s to come in the Masons?

Haha, well. I can promise that what i have currently planned for LIB will probably make everyone hate me. It’s very cerebral and very different. I can’t wait to share it with you guys.

*****************

Anonymous asked:

Is there anything you refuse to write about?

Yes, absolutely. I refuse and will not ever write a rape scene. I’m hesitant to even write about a character who has had sexual assault in their past. I can’t even read stories with rape scenes or rape mentions in them. I don’t understand why so many people have to write about it.

I will also not write about pedophilia, necrophilia or anything that could get me in trouble with the FBI, haha.

*****************

Anonymous asked:

Did you ever imagine that the Masons would be so popular?

The thing is, I don’t really think they’re all that popular. Everyone tells me that and people treat me like I’m a celebrity sometimes but really in the larger community I’m hardly a blip. However I am extremely thankful for everyone who puts up with my Shenanigans and wants to read my story. I think all of you guys are great and so wonderful, even those I have never heard from.

So, from the bottom of my heart..thank you.

I felt that was a good final question, so in closing I would just like to say that you guys are all wonderful and I am so glad that all of you have taken this journey with me. However, don’t be offended when I say that I hope I don’t get to celebrate a third anniversary. XD

How the Time Flies!

Hello! I have a couple of quick things I want to tell you guys. First of all, thank all of you so much for the well wishes that you sent my way in regards to my health. They really helped me get through the tough time I’ve been having.

If any of you guys follow me on facebook or anything, you can probably tell that last week wasn’t exactly the high point of my life. Haha. I’d been feeling really overwhelmed and depressed and just all around icky. So, I shut myself away and just spent some time recharging my batteries. In that regard I feel loads better than I did and I’m getting better every day.

On the health front, my colonoscopy went well and I’m very happy to say that my Doctor saw no signs of signs of cancer, colitis or Crohn’s. So that is a big YAY for that. However, that means that whatever IS wrong with me isn’t quite so apparent. In the meantime my Doctor has put me on this medicine and it’s really helping despite the fact that it’s like taking a glass of water and pouring three cups of sand in it.

But, since it’s helping…I’ll do it.

Work is going better. Unfortunately I’ve learned that my boss isn’t the best at being a boss. If that makes sense. Now that we’re finally finished with, previously Mother’s day, and now we’re finished with graduation. I’m finally at a slow point in my job which means that I might finally be able to do something. I’ve been so out of simming and everything that it’s kind of weird. Now I’ve entered BNTM in hopes that it will help me get back into simming. 🙂

Another thing I wanted to bring up is that it’s actually Let it Be’s second anniversary on the 31st of may. It totally snuck up on me. So I’m actually a bit unprepared for it. After talking to some of my friends they suggest that I do a Q&A for you guys. So, I’m opening up the forum of questions and none are taboo. However I won’t be giving spoilers, as an fyi. You can ask me questions about anything you desire! If you’d like you can also ask LIB characters questions as well. Anything you’ve ever wanted to know.

You can leave questions here as comments or if you’re feeling shy you can submit anonymous questions on my tumblr. You can also leave me chat messages on my facebook or on Let it Be’s page. Or if you’re so inclined you can e-mail me at: a.fickle.feeling@gmail.com 🙂

Questions will be open right up until I post the anniversary post. So, send them in, no question is taboo 😀

Thanks everyone! <3<3

Edit Please disregard all of the errors made in the post. I took a painkiller and it just kicked in. XD

A Word from Toast

I wanted to avoid writing this until I had some definite answers to give people. The last thing that I ever want to do is write something that sounds like I’m garnering for unnecessary sympathy. However, due to the recent influx of anon comments on my tumblr, all asking me about this blog and if I’m working on it, I feel like I need to say something.

The truth is that no, I haven’t been working on Let it Be lately. The reason for that is because I’m actually in the middle of a health crisis. Since I started my job, I’ve been under extreme amounts of stress. This stress has started to take its toll on my body. I’ve been having issues with my digestive health and on the orders of my Doctor I am having a medical test done on Wednesday. This test requires sedation and they will be taking biopsies of my intestines, colon, etc.

As anyone who has experience with these sorts of issues can tell you. All of the symptoms are the same, no matter what it is. From something as mild as an infection to something as serious as cancer, the symptoms are all identical so the only way to be sure is for me to have tests done. My doctor has said that the likelihood of me having cancer is very low due to my age though it is always a possibility (her words, not mine), but it is highly likely that I could have ulcerative colitis or Crohn’s Disease. Which can sometimes require surgery, depending on how badly uh, for lack of a better term, damaged your insides are.

Frankly between this, the symptoms, the job and the entire MESS that’s going on there (if I get into it I will definitely start crying) I’ve actually started falling into my depressive habits. As my friends can tell you I have withdrawn lately, and sought out very little contact with people. I’m sorry. I know how much people enjoy this story and I know how much you guys want more. I apologize for not being able to deliver it right now.

I wanted to wait until I had a definite answer to give everyone (or if there was no answer needed) but like I said, I’ve had so many anons messaging me I thought everyone deserved to know the truth.

I will get back to work on LIB when I can. But, I will ask for the people who have been sending me hate and trolling me for not updating my blog that you please consider what I have said and what I am facing before you type out those messages. Thank you.

Toast

 

EDIT: Of course, some anons have been perfectly lovely and I love hearing from people who read this blog. The ones who have been mean or rude know who they are and know that they’ve said. So, please, if you are one of the lovely nice anons then please don’t feel like I hate getting messages because I don’t. They always make me smile. Thank you!

Another Update

Hello everyone! I’m in my second full week at my job, and it’s going…pretty okay I suppose. Been pretty stressful trying to get used to new employers who are absolutely NOTHING like my old ones. Haha. I’m used to being yelled at even when I do something right, so working for NICE people is very odd!

Anyway, I do plan on getting some work on LIB done this weekend, I may have to work on Saturday so that means that I may not be able to get as much work done as I’d like but some is still better than none, right?!

So, I figured while I’m still out of “commission” so to speak I would give you guys a good recommendation for reading. I thought about who I’d suggest first and it came to me pretty quickly. Mostly because she doesn’t seem to get nearly the amount of recognition she deserves! Her blog and her writing in general are just wonderful (as is she!).

The blog?

Piper’s Dream written by Cat Crunchies. Seriously, go read it. The first generation alone where most writers (myself included) struggle…she excels. You will fall in love with Fennel and Dill. It even features a very recognizable figure in the DITFT world: Perrin/Ishmael Moss and guess what? You’ll love both of them too! I am just in complete awe of this girl, I really am. Plus, I’m so happy I get to call her a very good friend of mine. ❤

Here’s the link to the chapters. You’ll thank me later, trust me.  http://thepiperlegacy.wordpress.com/chapters/

Why are you still here? GO.

An Announcement

So I am very very happy to report that after over a year of being unemployed (for those that were around and remember, I lost my job in November of 2010)…today…I got hired for a job! 🙂

I’m going to be working as a cookie baker/decorator for a company that makes cookie bouquets. I am completely ecstatic. I will be working part time to start, but there have been hints that full-time work may be in the future. If it is not, however, I decided when I came home from Kentucky and my seminar that I was going to start my own business.

So now you guys can see why there hasn’t been an update yet. I came home from my seminar in Kentucky late Wednesday night and had my first interview on Thursday. Then, Friday I got a phone call asking me to come in today (Tuesday) and between then and today I had my Grandfather’s 86th birthday. So I’ve been busy busy!

Now, what does this mean for Let it Be and my various other projects? At the moment, it doesn’t mean anything. I have been so crazy I haven’t had time to work on the next chapter (though it is all in my head and planned out) and I will probably need a couple of days to settle into my new job (and make sure that I don’t screw it all up XD). However, I will say that I actually wrote better when I was last employed. That was the height of my daily posting, so who knows…maybe I’ll be able to update more often. maybe.

So, that’s my good news! Like I said, I’m just so excited right now. I practically floated out of the shop and was actually mistaken about what time I was supposed to start. I could have sworn my new boss said 9am but I called the shop to make sure and the manager told me 8am. Oops! How awful would that have been? XD With that said, I just want to give everyone a big thank you! You guys are so fantastic, and especially the readers I’ve gotten to know recently.

I will say, to any readers who want to get to know me…I don’t bite! I’m a nice person, i promise…I’m just horrendously shy! I’m even shy online, which I think says something. XD If you are curious about what I’m up to or if you want to chat with me, I’m on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/rebeccatoast and you can contact me through tumblr: http://anonymoustoast.tumblr.com

Again, thanks for all of the support. I will keep you guys updated if it looks like I will need to officially put this blog on hold or what. However, I don’t anticipate having to do that, as I said it is currently part time work. Thanks for keeping up with the blog and thank you for everything. I love you all! 🙂

~ Rebecca

Generation 10 – “Informant”

Warning: Non-Graphic sexual content, blood, mild violence and language. Side view of naked (sim) breasts.

A shot rang out in the alley. The woman screamed and immediately tensed up. She was practically frozen in terror. Her captor’s body jerked violently, turning her loose from his death grip. His face turned white and went suddenly slack. He opened his mouth to speak. Instead of words, blood began to flow from his parted lips.

He fell away from the woman, dead before he hit the ground. Blood blossomed from his throat and trickled down the side of his neck on to the dark pavement. The woman shook with fear. Billie could see her eyes welling with tears. Without thinking, Billie went through the next few moments mechanically. She had done it so many times before; it was second nature to her at this point, as normal as someone preparing their morning coffee.

She didn’t holster her pistol immediately. Past experience had taught her to never assume that her target was dead. Instead she pushed past the hysterical woman and kicked the man with the tip of her boot. He jostled from the force, his body slack, but didn’t stir. Billie poked around his side with her toe, trying to find one certain spot. Having found her target she hopped on her other foot and swung her leg back. She pushed her leg forward again. Had it been quiet enough, she was certain she could have heard it swish through the air. She kicked the man with such force in his side that she heard a crack in his ribs. He still didn’t stir.

Satisfied, Billie finally holstered her weapon. She turned to the young woman, who was now fully hysterical. Tears were streaming steadily down her cheeks; her nose was also running down her face. She inhaled in gasps, sounding more like strangled squeaks. At first, she was too shell shocked to speak. As Billie reached out to put her hands on the woman’s shoulders, her head seemed to clear.

“Oh God I…I thought…I mean I-I-I thank you!” she stammered out.

“Shh,” Billie murmured, “you’re okay. You’re safe now.”

She always said the same words to every victim. She had no clue if she was lying or not. Was the person really okay? Would they ever feel safe again? It was the words that had always given her comfort. She could still recall her father’s voice whispering them in her ear. She had never felt as safe in her life as she did in his arms. Even before…he had always been safe.

“What…I don’t know, what do I do now?”

Billie pulled a phone out of her pocket and switched in on. She handed the woman the small, plastic thing.

“You’re going to use this phone to call 911. You’re going to tell them what happened and where you are.”

“How can I ever repay you? You saved my life!”

“You can do me a favor. When the police come to take your statement, refuse to talk to anyone but Deputy Chief Fredrick Jones. They’ll try to intimidate you into talking to someone else, but don’t let them. Talk to no one but him. When he finally shows himself to you, I want you to tell him something. Very simply, just say that Billie sent you.”

The woman nodded, “I’ll do it. I owe you that much. You said Deputy Chief Fredrick Jones?”

Billie nodded, and smiled to herself as she imagined his face. She almost wished that she could stick around to see it.

The woman dialed 911 and told the operator what had happened to her. As she started to speak, Billie turned to leave. She stole one last look at the bloody body next to her and disappeared into the darkness of the alley.

* * *

A phone jangled in Billie’s pocket. She always kept an extra one in case she needed to dump one. She pulled it out and pressed it against her ear.

“Billie here.”

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Of course, Clem,” she paused a moment before speaking again, “I saved a girl.”

Her voice turned suddenly softer. It was almost like a fragment of a ghost. The girl who she had once been, long ago was speaking out.

“I’m glad,” he replied, “are you coming by? I want to see you before you go after Victor.”

She smiled against the mouthpiece of the phone, a slight flush creeping up her cheeks. In that moment, she looked positively girlish, like a young innocent woman. Not the cold-blooded killer she had worked so hard to become. Billie brushed a strand of black, synthetic hair behind her ear. She didn’t know why Clem automatically made her flirty, but he did.

“I’ll be right over.”

Billie hung up the phone and shoved it back into her pocket. She wrapped her arms around herself and fought the upward tugging of the corners of her mouth. She stepped out of the alleyway and out on to the street. She walked about four blocks over and cut through another alleyway. She took a sharp right and came face to face with the back door to a building. She straightened her wig and knocked on the door. A metal faceplate slid away and Billie could see two brown eyes staring back at her. She grinned at the eyes. Even though she couldn’t see the rest of the face, she could tell from the crinkle in the corner that the face was smiling back at her. The metal plate slid shut again. Billie could hear several locks clicking. Finally, the door opened.

As the door swung open, Billie caught a hold of the edge and pulled the door to her. She leaned against the edge of the door and smiled at the man in the doorway. He leaned against the doorjamb with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Billie,” he murmured, smiling.

“Clem,” she replied.

Clem rose from the doorway and gestured for Billie to go inside. She pulled the door behind her and stepped through the doorway. She could feel the weight of Clem’s eyes on her as she passed. She smiled softly at the feeling. As she cleared the door, she turned around to watch Clem pull it shut and flip all the locks into place. He turned around and flashed a wide smile at her.

“Nice hair,” he quipped.

“Nice paranoia,” she shot back, referring to his locks.

“All the better to protect you with, my dear.”

He winked and closed the gap between them. Billie lifted her arms and wrapped them around Clem’s waist as his arms encircled her shoulders. She nestled her head into his neck and breathed in the scent of him. He always smelled the same. His clothes held the scent of his laundry detergent, while his long hair smelled of rosemary and his skin smelled like soap. She pulled away from him a little and looked into his eyes. He stroked her cheek softly before taking her chin with his thumb.

“Your eyes,” he whispered.

She laughed, “You know my signature.”

He shook his head, his face serious. He sighed and let go of her chin before speaking:

“I still can’t help but wonder if I’ve ever seen the real you.”

Billie didn’t have the answer for him. She couldn’t tell him that no, he had never seen the true her. She pushed those thoughts from her head, and hopefully from his head as well as she slid her arms up Clem’s body and pulled his head down to hers. Their lips collided together, and Billie felt her thoughts go fuzzy. She felt warm and safe as Clem ran his hands up and down her back. His hands peeled off her jacket and threw it off to the side. Billie’s lips left Clem’s and trailed down his jaw. They settled on the warm brown of his neck, licking at his pulse before giving it a light nip. He moaned and took a hold of her scarf. She shivered as he pulled the slick fabric off of her. The fibers slid against her neck, sending little waves of sensation down her back. She pulled away from Clem’s neck and found his lips again. He peeled the side of her tank top down and pulled away from her lips. He kissed the flesh of her shoulder before kissing his way over to her throat. He wrapped his arms back around her body and picked her up.

Billie let out a little squeal as she left the ground. Clem took a few steps in his small home and dropped Billie down on his bed. She felt suddenly bereft as he left her arms. She reached for him and he covered her body with his own. He sat back and pulled off her shirt, leaving her lying on his bed in her bra. He fell back against her and pulled the strap of her bra down and kissed the newly exposed flesh.

“Are you sure about your information?” Billie asked as she buried her hands in his thick hair.

“Always business with you, isn’t it?” he asked between kisses.

“This is important business,” she replied, her eyes glassy and faraway.

Clem stopped and sat back again. He sighed, “I thought that this was important business.”

Billie sat up on her elbows and stared him down, but found that she had nothing to say to him. What could she say? She felt about Clem…. Well, exactly what it was that she  felt she wasn’t something that she wouldn’t allow herself to say, even in her own head. Her quest, her life’s work was the thing that had to matter the most to her. Clem sighed, taking her silence for some sort of answer.

“Yes, Billie. I’m positive about the information I got about Victor. I hate that you even want to go after him. I don’t think I could bear the thought of you getting hurt.”

She sat up further and cupped his cheek with her hand.

“I know, Clem. I’m sorry, but I have to do this,” she dropped her gaze for a moment before lifting it again and smiling at him mischievously. She brought her arms behind her and unfastened her bra with a couple of quick movements. She let go over the fasteners and let her bra droop on her chest ever so slightly. It was enough for Clem’s eyes to glaze over again. He fell against her again and this time, neither of them stopped until they fell against each other one final time, fully satiated.

* * *

They slept a little bit, wrapped in each other’s arms. True, deep sleep eluded Billie and she found herself waking after just an hour. She sat up and gazed down at her lover’s face. She brushed her fingertips lightly over the scruff on his cheeks. Her heart swelled a little as she studied his sweet, sleeping face. This relationship was dangerous, Billie knew. It had the potential to cloud her judgment and it certainly was distracting.

Clement Walker was well known in Elmira for being the best source for information. He always seemed to have his finger on the pulse of the city, which was quite a feat for a man who had barely left his house for seven years. Clem wasn’t an agoraphobic, but he was somewhat of a wanted man. He was known for giving information to anyone who paid the price for it, and there were some people out there who didn’t appreciate that. Billie was one of the few people to know where he lived. She had first tracked him down when she as getting started on the streets. He had helped to connect her to a local mafia Made Man. Billie shivered as the cold air of Clement’s hovel hit her flesh. She pulled a loose sheet off of the bed and wrapped it around her exposed skin.

Billie sometimes did wonder how they had wound up a couple. At first, she had been hostile towards him. She had just assumed that he was another criminal, and she had longed for the day when she would catch him committing a crime so she could add him to her list of victims.

Her view towards the informant had changed when she had come to his home, injured. She had caught a bullet in her shoulder, and Clem didn’t turn her away when she showed up. At the time, she was squatting further away than she had thought she could travel. Clem was the closest “friendly face” that she could think of, and she was truly grateful when he let her inside. She passed out, and when she woke up he had patched her shoulder and gave her antibiotics and pain medicine. She stayed with him overnight, and he had been a complete gentleman. Billie had expected Clem to try to take advantage of her, but instead, the two of them spent the night talking. Billie had gotten to know Clem and somehow she had dropped her guard long enough for the strange man to work his way into her heart. He definitely wasn’t the sort of man she could bring home to her family. Then again, she didn’t have any family so that problem took care of itself. Plus, she wasn’t exactly the sort of woman one would want to bring home to their mother. Clem understood her, and had even begrudgingly praised her actions when it came to her vigilantism. He worried about her going out every night. Yet, he knew how important it was to her, and he always supplied her with information whenever he could.

They had been lovers for a couple of years now, and Billie was fairly certain that Clement was in love with her. Billie chose not to think about her own feelings, lest they be the sort of feelings hat would make her want to quit her work. Still, she couldn’t help but feel her heart beat a little faster and her legs shake just a bit when Clem said her name, or brushed the hair from her eyes.

Thinking about her hair, Billie became suddenly aware that she could feel her hair against her bare shoulders. She looked around the small home and saw her black wig lying haphazardly on the floor. She faintly remembered switching positions, being on top of Clem. In their…activities…Clem’s hands had ripped the wig from her head, sending her bottle-red hair tumbling down her back.

She smiled at the memory. She didn’t notice Clem’s eyes fluttering awake. She started when he brought a fingertip up to the corner of her lips and gave a light caress.

“The Mona Lisa has thousands of visitors looking at her, all wondering what she’s smiling about.”

“Well, I don’t know about her, but I was smiling about you.”

Clem chuckled as he sat up in bed. He wrapped his arm around Billie and pulled her back close to him. He rested his lips against the side of her head.

After a moment in quiet solitude Clem’s brow furrowed forward. Though Billie couldn’t see his face, she could tell from the way that his body tensed beneath her, that Clem was about to voice his worries.

“Billie, I really…really don’t want you to go after Victor. It’s too dangerous.”

Billie sat up and turned to face Clem. She fixed him with an angry glare.

“Clem, I appreciate that you worry about me…and I know you care for me…but, I have to do this. He’s a rat-faced son-of-a-bitch who deserves to pay for his crimes.”

“Why do you have to do it?”

“Who else is going to do it? I’m the only one out there risking her life to clean up the street. You know how it is, half the cops are criminals and the rest are too damn scared to change the status quo.”

“What ever happened to ‘good will overcome evil’?”

She scoffed, “just call me the hand of God. I get bloody so he doesn’t have to.”

Clem sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He looked away from her, as if meeting her eyes was just too painful for him. Finally, after a moment he whispered softly:

“I just couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to you. I love you, Billie.”

Billie looked away from the heat of his gaze. As much as she wanted to say something back to Clem, as much as she wished that her life had turned out differently and as much as she hoped for one day being a normal woman again she couldn’t and wouldn’t say anything to him in return. Instead, Billie did what she did best with Clem. She smiled and let the sheet covering her nakedness drop and climbed on top of Clem. Together, they let their worries wash away as they became one, once again.

*******************

I meant to do this earlier, but I forgot. If you guys wouldn’t mind, could you vote in this poll for me? I like to keep track of what sort of stories people seem to enjoy more, and with dual heirs it was a bit difficult to do so. Also for the last option, it will NOT hurt my feelings if you vote that one. So don’t be shy. I want *honest* opinions. Thanks 🙂

Like I said, I meant to do this earlier but I’ve been so scatterbrained. Things have been pretty crazy around here and I’ve done a lot of “cave retreating” which is what my family calls it when I get into one of my moods where I just shut down. I’ve just been feeling really out of it, like I can’t focus on anything. Somehow I’ve managed to get some writing done, but its like I can do one thing or another. It’s really frustrating. Hooray for over-sharing Toast!

Oh and, I am going out of town a week from uh, yesterday (Sunday) and I will be gone for 3-4 days. I will have internet though (presumably) I’m going to a seminar on Tea in Kentucky (that is to say it will be on Tea and it will take place in Kentucky). After the seminar I’ll probably be in Pigeon Forge for a night. I’ll try to get chapter five out before I go, but there may be a bit of a delay for chapter six. Sorry all.