Basically just a quick update to let everyone know that I’m not doing well. My hands are worse than ever. As some of you know my last grip test registered at 6 pounds in my left hand and right is at 5. I went back to the Doctor last Wednesday and he gave me a cortisone shot in my left hand. It was probably the third most painful thing I’ve ever gone through (this is from a girl who pierced her own ears – 5 times – and bellybutton and who also has a tattoo and used to gauge her ears and was a self-harmer for years. In other words, ouch.)

It caused what is known apparently as a cortisone spike – something i didn’t learn about until I got on the internet, thank you Doctor for adequately preparing me – which causes your pain level to double because the cortisone crystallizes under the skin. Also, I got a cortisone shot right in the middle of all the meningitis outbreaks which if you didn’t hear is coming from cortisone that they’re using in orthopedic clinics. Awesome. So no I don’t have meningitis but its certainly been stressing me out. The shot can take up to 14 days to work. If it doesn’t then the only other western medicine solution is surgery. Which according to Doctors is a permanent fix…according to those who’ve had it done it’s putting a band-aid on a broken arm. So, awesome.

My pain levels have been so high lately I haven’t been able to function. I confessed to my boss that I was having these problems, she was actually supportive of me.

Unfortunately on Thursday I came to the realization that I could no longer physically perform my job, so I had no choice but to quit. As of Friday morning, I am now once again in the ranks of the unemployed. I kind of want to go stick my head in the oven now. I’m extremely depressed. I don’t really have any desire to do anything. It’s taken me almost two days to even be able to write this. So yeah. There you go. I still feel like shit and now my life is going down the tubes.

Go me.